Dad's coming home on Friday after seven weeks in hospital and rehab. What do I need sorted before then?

#1jan_dee(Joined Oct 2026 · 2 posts)October 26, 2026, 7:22 pm

My dad, 74, had his stroke at the start of September. Right side, some word finding trouble, walking with a frame. He's been on the stroke unit and then the rehab ward and the date is now set for Friday. Mum is 72 and not in great health herself, I live twenty minutes away and work full time.

Everyone at the hospital keeps saying how well he's doing and I believe them, but I am panicking about the practical side. OT has been to the house once. There's a list of equipment that may or may not arrive. Nobody has told me what happens on Saturday morning when it's just him and Mum.

What did you wish you'd sorted before the first night? I'd rather ask now than find out at 2am.

#2Moira G.(Joined Mar 2026 · 20 posts)October 27, 2026, 8:41 am

Ask for the names and phone numbers of whoever is taking over, community physio or whatever your area calls it, and the date of their first visit, IN WRITING before he leaves. We were told "someone will be in touch" and it was eleven days.

And a list of his tablets with what each one is for. You will think you'll remember. You won't.

#3Geoffswife(Joined Jan 2025 · 38 posts)October 27, 2026, 1:05 pm

Walk the route from his bed to the toilet in the dark. Seriously. Rugs up, night light in, nothing on the floor. Geoff's only fall in the first month was at 3am on the landing.

Also think about your mum. If she's doing the nights she'll be wrecked by Tuesday. Is there anyone who can do one night that first week so she sleeps?

#4keithb57(Joined Oct 2024 · 51 posts)October 28, 2026, 7:47 pm

From the patient side, tell him the first week will be harder than the ward. Nobody told me and I thought I was going backwards. I was just doing more. Everything takes longer and wears you out at home, making a cup of tea counts as exercise.

#5Gareth VossAdmin(Joined Sep 2024 · 187 posts)October 31, 2026, 10:18 am

Jan, the others have covered the essentials and they are the right ones. I came home with a carrier bag of tablets and a discharge letter and within three days neither my wife nor I could remember which tablet was which, so Moira's list is the first thing I would do too.

A few more from my own first month. Check the equipment has actually arrived and that someone has shown your dad how to use it, before Friday if you can; a raised toilet seat still in its box is no use at midnight. Ask the ward who to ring if something worries you in the first days, and keep that number by the phone. Plan Saturday and Sunday on purpose: one thing in the morning, one in the afternoon, a rest between, and visitors rationed, because fatigue usually hits harder at home than in hospital. And know the emergency signs, sudden new weakness, confusion, speech changes or a severe headache, mean 999, not a wait for Monday.

I wrote up my own first weeks home, including what we got wrong, in coming home after a stroke. Falls are the thing to take most seriously early on, and falls and balance after stroke explains the risk. And please do not forget your mum. Ask the team what support there is for carers. She is going to need it as much as he needs the physio.

#6jan_dee(Joined Oct 2026 · 2 posts)November 2, 2026, 8:40 pm

He's home. Friday was chaos, the commode arrived at 6pm, the rail by the front step didn't, but we got there.

I did the list of tablets, laminated, inside the kitchen cupboard (stole that from Gareth's article). Community physio is booked for Wednesday, I got the name and number in writing before we left. My aunt did Saturday night so Mum slept.

Dad cried on Sunday trying to make his own tea and then laughed at himself. Keith was right, it's harder than the ward. Thank you all, I'll be back.